For many women the idea of learning how to be a “MOM” again won’t even come into play. But, for me I had to re-establish my role as the main parent at home with the kiddos. You see my husband was at home full time with the kids until my son started school. I was an active duty Army Soldier.
Lessons Learned in Tough Times: Forgiving Yourself
Now, don’t get me wrong….I was still a Mom and loved my kids dearly.
But, because of my service I missed out on many important aspects of their early childhood.
And because of this…I felt guilty for a long time, even though it was out of my control. When my son was 2 and my daughter had just started Kindergarten, I deployed to Afghanistan for a year. This was the longest year of my life.
Even though I had been away from my family on other occasions…it was never longer than a month for training etc. One can’t even express the sadness and other emotions that I encountered during this time. I distracted myself with work to cover up the emotions.
The problem with doing this, is that when I returned they all came flooding in like a tidal wave.
Lessons Learned in Tough Times: Difficult yet not Difficult Decisions
I experienced many things on my deployment that will forever change me as a person and as a “MOM”. We won’t go into that in this post…but, know that war changes people.
Now, fast forward 6 months post-deployment and I am being medically retired from the Army. I had served 10 years and knew that my life was going to take a dramatic change both emotionally and financially. By this time my husband had found work and the decision was for me to decide if I wanted to go back to work or stay at home full time. Well for me the decision was easy. I wanted to be at home with my kids. So, it happened. I became “MOM” again.
Lessons Learned in Tough Times: Re-establishing Roles
I have been a full time Stay at Home “MOM” for just around 2yrs now. The first year was quite the transition. Getting kids dressed and ready for school, making lunches, going to school functions.
But, the biggest thing was really learning my kiddos quirks…what they liked and didn’t, what made them happy and upset. Now, some of you may be thinking how did you not know that already? Well I did but, not to the extent of spending hours a day with them. It may be really hard for some to grasp but, when you work 18 hour days….spend a month a way several times a year…..deploy for a year or more….you miss out on things and it sucks!
My husband was always supportive and he was SUPER DAD 🙂 He knew what the kids wanted even before they asked. This is the point that I am getting back to now.
I am able to stay at home full time now not only because of my “retirement” check because that is nothing let me tell ya. But, because I have found a way to have a business at home that supplements mine and my husbands income…..soon, we will both be at home full time and spend all of the quality time together that we missed out on the past 10 years. Spending this time with my family now is moments that I will treasure till the end of time.